| Double click this button to listen to A Woman On Paper |
NOTE: This song is NOT in any way at all about my wife. It was written for the competition at SongFight.org, where each week entrants write a new song using the song title the site gives out. The title for the week I entered was "A Woman On Paper", so that is how the song got its name.
A Woman On Paper
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I got me a girl
we're as tight as can be
but there's something a little unusual
about her personality
She's no typical chick
not into girly stuff
other women all fear her
'cause she comes off tough
As a kid she was a tomboy
always full of dirt and grime
she loved playing sports
at recess time
Some learned to cook
but she took shop
some hung at the mall
she worked at a truck stop
She wears no makeup
there's no dye in her hair
doesn't even own one sexy pair
of underwear
but she's my little baby
and I'm a happy guy
It's like Cupid shot his arrow
and hit a bullseye
Chorus
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Even though she's a woman on paper
she thinks just like a man
she's my lover and very best buddy
I'm her super duper number one fan
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she's a woman on paper
but acts like a man
she loves to read magazines
while she's on the can
She rules the poker table
while smoking a cigar
and whips out a wrench
when there's trouble with her car
She can throw a punch
and kick some ass
she chugs straight from the bottle
never uses a glass
she can re-grout your tiles
while blasting Metallica or Korn
She hates foreign movies
and loves to watch porn
Being with her makes me happy
feel my increased heart rate
now my life is complete
I finally found a soul mate
Chorus
=========================
Even though she's a woman on paper
she thinks just like a man
She's my lover and very best buddy
I'm her super duper number one fan
===================================================
She acts like a man
but she's a woman on paper
when she lets loose a fart
I almost die from the vapor
She scratches her crotch
and picks her nose
her closet is full of
androgynous clothes
While watching football
she pounds down the brews
and after having sex
she always takes a snooze
She hates to dance
and won't ask for directions
gets bored at museums
prefers beer can collections
Her brain is male
but her body's another gender
like her DNA got mixed in
a chromosomal blender
Chorus
==========================
'Cause she's a woman on paper
only a woman on paper
ya, just a woman on paper
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