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Missing Socks

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Everytime I fold my laundry

into a neat little pile

a thought crosses my mind

that makes me crack a smile

It's a great unsolved mystery

the perpetrators unknown

with clues leading you straight

into the Twilight Zone

This little crime goes unreported

people chalk it up to bad luck

not worth worrying about something

that just costs under a buck

Facts get hidden away

year after year

buried deep in the past

but a pattern remains clear

So I set out on a quest

a search for the Holy Grail

to investigate this puzzle

in every minute detail

In the case of the lost laundry

I'll make like Magnum P.I.

gather up all the info

then catch the bad guy

Chorus

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Where do all the missing socks go

Were they abducted by a UFO

or used by some kids

for a sock puppet show

I've searched for answers

but I still don't know

where it is that all

those missing socks go

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Do they get lost when I put them

into the hamper

or when I'm not looking

in every direction do they scamper

Should I go out and hire

a sock detective

or is there just something about my dryer

that is defective

Do the holes get bigger and bigger

until the sock slowly fades away

or does somebody steal them

to sell on eBay

Maybe they're all lounging around

way up in sock heaven

be they small or large

or mediums 5, 6 or 7

Do the socks all know to meet

in some secret place

maybe hookup with an old slipper

or broken shoe lace

I know if I can ever find

their secret location

guys all over the world

would give me a standing ovation

In that place I'd see socks of

red, white and blue

argyle and wool

100% cotton and tube

Socks all rolled up

into little sock balls

socks given as presents

and bought in jam packed malls

But try as I might

fugitives they remain

no answers to be found

no matter how hard I rack my brain

Forever will I search for

these socks so elusive

or at least until I find

some evidence that is more conclusive

Chorus

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Where do all the missing socks go

Were they abducted by a UFO

or used by some kids

for a sock puppet show

I've searched for answers

but I still don't know

where it is that all

those missing socks go

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